Twin Advice: What Is Success Sabotage

You're capable of so much more. So why do you keep holding yourself back?

If you're a twin reading this, I want you to pause for a moment and think about your career. Your job. The path you've chosen professionally.

Now ask yourself honestly: Did I choose this? Or did we choose this?

It's a question that might make you uncomfortable. Because for so many twins, the line between "I" and "we" has always been blurred. And nowhere does that show up more powerfully - or more destructively - than in your career choices.

Here's what I see time and time again in the twin community: intelligent, capable, ambitious people who are somehow stuck. Not because they lack skills or drive, but because there's an invisible ceiling they keep bumping up against. A pattern of reaching a certain level and then... stopping. Holding back. Staying small.

This is success sabotage. And for twins, it's often so normalized, so woven into the fabric of your relationship, that you don't even recognize it's happening.

You think it's just "how things are." How they've always been.

But what if I told you that the very thing keeping you safe - staying at the same level as your twin - is actually the thing keeping you stuck?

What Success Sabotage Actually Looks Like

Success sabotage in twins isn't always obvious. It's not dramatic or destructive in ways you'd immediately recognize. In fact, it often looks like love. Like loyalty. Like being a good twin.

It looks like:

Choosing the same career path "because we've always done everything together." Not because it's your genuine passion, but because diverging feels dangerous. Like betrayal.

Accepting a role that's "good enough" instead of pursuing what you really want - because your twin is at a similar level and going higher would create distance. Create difference. Create the uncomfortable reality that you're not the same.

Turning down promotions or opportunities that would mean earning more, achieving more, or being recognized more than your twin. The guilt feels unbearable, so you sabotage before you even have to face it.

Staying in jobs you've outgrown because leaving would mean admitting you want something different. And different feels like drifting. Like choosing yourself over "us."

Working together in the same company or field - which can be beautiful for connection, but often reinforces the unconscious belief that you are "one unit" rather than two individuals who choose to connect.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Here's the truth that might be hard to hear: when you're capable of more but consistently hold yourself back, you're not just limiting your career. You're telling yourself a story about what you deserve. About who you're allowed to be.

And that story? It bleeds into every other area of your life.

The First Major Obstacle: Leaving Education

Think back to when you and your twin finished school or university. That moment when the structured, shared path of education ended and you were suddenly faced with the terrifying question: What do I want to do with my life?

For most people, this is daunting. But for twins? It's the first major obstacle where the "we" has to potentially become "I."

And I see it all the time in twin support groups and forums: twins who end up in the same line of work. Sometimes the exact same company. Same department. Same role.

Is this because you genuinely, independently, authentically both love the same career? Maybe. Sometimes.

But often? It's because diverging at this crucial fork in the road felt too scary. Too lonely. Too much like choosing separation over connection.

So you stayed together. You chose safety. You chose sameness.

And on the surface, this looks like the ultimate twin bond. Working together! Following the same path! Always connected!

But underneath? You've just reinforced the core belief that's been running your life since before you could speak:

We are one unit. Not two.

And every time you make a career decision based on maintaining that unit rather than honouring your individual desires, you strengthen that belief. You make it more solid. More "true."

The career path becomes the first place where you learn: Staying the same is safe. Being different is dangerous.

The Fears Underneath Success Sabotage

Let's get really honest about what's actually happening when you hold yourself back.

It's not about the job. It's never really about the job.

It's about the fear underneath.

Fear of gravitating away from your twin. If you take that promotion, that new job, that exciting opportunity that lights you up - what if it creates distance? What if your lives start to look so different that you can't relate to each other anymore? What if success means growing apart

Fear of being "better than" your twin. The guilt is crushing. How can you celebrate your achievement when it means you've surpassed them? When it means you're no longer equal? The unconscious solution: don't achieve. Stay level. Stay safe.

Fear of not being seen as "the same" anymore. Your whole life, people have treated you as a unit. Compared you. Talked about you in plural. "The twins." If you succeed beyond your twin, will people start seeing you differently? Will your twin start seeing you differently? Will the thing that's always made you special - being a twin - somehow diminish?

Fear that if you're too different, you won't feel the same to each other. That inexplicable connection you share - what if choosing your own path breaks it? What if individuating means losing the bond that's been your anchor your entire life?

These fears are real. They're valid. They make perfect sense given how intertwined your identities have been since before birth.

But here's what I need you to understand: these fears are based on old beliefs, not current truth.

The belief that you have to be the same to stay connected? That was formed when you were young, when sameness felt like safety, when difference felt like threat.

But you're not children anymore. And the twin bond - the real, authentic, mature twin bond - doesn't require sameness. It thrives in individuality.

A Personal Story: When "The Same" Became A Cage

I need to share something with you. Something I discovered during one of my final training hypnosis sessions when I decided to work on my self-belief as I was starting my hypnotherapy business.

I went into that session thinking I'd address some general confidence issues. What I found instead shocked me.

Let me take you back to when my twin sister and I were in our late teens. We were both working in retail - the safe, expected path we'd naturally fallen into together.

One day, my sister got the news: she was being promoted to concession manager on her department.

I was happy for her. Of course I was. She deserved it. She'd worked hard.

But underneath that happiness? I felt like I was falling behind.

Not falling behind in life. Falling behind her. Behind us.

And that feeling was unbearable. So I did what success sabotage looks like in action: I signed up for a diploma in jewellery education around the same time.

Not because I was deeply passionate about jewellery. But because I needed to catch up. I needed to be seen as successful too. I needed to match the energy and "level" that I thought she was at.

Can you see what was happening? I wasn't chasing my own dreams. I wasn't following my own path. I was chasing her. Trying to stay equal. Trying to remain "the same."

And here's the part that still makes me shake my head: this pattern continued for years. Decades, actually.

We both worked our way up to managers in retail. Then we both jumped into working in a factory because it brought in more money - so we agreed to do it together. Then we both jumped back into retail management. And each time one of us "levelled up," the other would shortly receive a pay rise or find a new job to match the other's income.

We used to laugh about it. "The universe is always making us match up," we'd say, like it was some cosmic twin magic.

But it wasn't the universe. It was us.

We were limiting ourselves to each other's level. Neither of us was ever a million miles away from the other career-wise or financially because what we were unconsciously asking for - what we were unconsciously seeking out - was to just keep rising a little each time. Just enough to match one another.

Never too far ahead. Never too far behind. Always, always the same.

We thought we were supporting each other. We thought this was what the twin bond looked like.

But really? We were in a cage of our own making. A beautiful, comfortable, suffocating cage where neither of us was allowed to truly soar.

When The Mind Stays "In Tune" At The Cost Of Growth

Here's something extraordinary about the twin bond: your minds really are attuned to each other in ways that science is only beginning to understand.

You pick up on each other's emotions. You sense when something's wrong. You often think the same thoughts, finish each other's sentences, reach for the same thing at the same time.

This attunement is real. It's neurological. It's beautiful.

But somewhere along the way, many twins unconsciously translate this attunement into: We have to stay the same. We have to want the same things. We have to achieve the same level.

Your mind, in its effort to stay "in tune" and "in line" with your twin, starts policing your desires. Limiting your ambitions. Sabotaging your success.

Because on some deep, unconscious level, you believe that becoming "more" means betraying the attunement. Disrupting the harmony. Breaking the bond.

But here's the truth: you can honour your deep connection without being exactly the same.

In fact, the most beautiful expression of the twin bond isn't sameness - it's two whole, authentic individuals choosing to support and celebrate each other.

The beauty of life - the actual magic of it - is in uniqueness. In diversity. In each person (yes, even twins) discovering and expressing their individual gifts, passions, and purpose.

When you hold yourself back to stay "in tune" with your twin, you're not honouring the bond. You're dimming both your lights.

How Your Career Choices Reflect Your Core Beliefs

Here's why career and success sabotage matter so much: your job is one of the most fundamental areas of your life.

It determines:

• How you spend the majority of your waking hours

• Your financial freedom and security

• Your sense of purpose and contribution

• Your confidence and self-worth

• Your independence and autonomy

When you settle in such a fundamental area - when you choose based on keeping your twin comfortable rather than honouring your authentic desires - you're reinforcing a core belief:

I don't deserve to want more. I don't deserve to be fully myself.

And that belief doesn't stay contained to your career. It bleeds into everything.

Your relationships. Your self-care. Your willingness to take risks or pursue dreams. Your ability to set boundaries or speak your truth.

When you believe you're only allowed to achieve what your twin achieves, you've unconsciously put a ceiling on your entire life.

And here's the devastating part: your twin is likely doing the same thing. So you're both staying small, both holding back, both sacrificing your potential - all in the name of protecting a bond that never needed protecting in the first place.

The Gentle Wake-Up Call

If you've recognized yourself in any of this - if you're realizing that maybe, just maybe, you've been holding yourself back - I want you to take a breath.

This isn't about blame. It's not about feeling guilty for the choices you've made or the patterns you've fallen into.

This is about awareness. About waking up to see that you are more than half of a unit. More than your twin's mirror. More than the role you've been unconsciously playing to keep things "the same."

You can enjoy the fun and connection with your twin without being in the same career.

You can support each other without sacrificing yourselves.

You can honour the extraordinary bond you share while also becoming fully, authentically, individually you.

And if you do end up in the same field or even working together? Let it be by genuine choice. By authentic alignment. Not by old belief systems running on autopilot.

The goal isn't to force yourself to be different. It's to give yourself permission to be different if that's what your soul is calling for.

How Hypnotherapy Addresses The Root

Through hypnotherapy, we can access the subconscious mind where these patterns were formed. We can find the exact moment when you decided: I need to stay the same as my twin to be safe. To be loved. To be connected.

Maybe it was something a parent said. Maybe it was how teachers treated you. Maybe it was a time when you tried to be different and it felt scary or wrong, so you unconsciously decided: never again.

Whatever the origin, that belief is still running your life. Still limiting your choices. Still sabotaging your success.

But when we access it in the hypnotic state - when we help your subconscious see that old belief and understand where it came from - we can transform it.

We can install a new belief: I can be successful and still be connected. I can be different and still be loved. I can choose my own path and honour my twin bond.

And when that new belief takes root? Everything changes.

Suddenly, taking that job opportunity doesn't feel like betrayal. It feels like authenticity.

Earning more doesn't trigger crushing guilt. It triggers possibility.

Choosing a different path doesn't feel like abandonment. It feels like freedom.

You Can Break The Mould

Here's what I want you to know: you're allowed to want more.

You're allowed to be ambitious without feeling guilty.

You're allowed to succeed beyond your twin without it meaning you love them less.

You're allowed to choose a career that lights you up, even if it's completely different from what your twin chose.

You're allowed to break the mould you've been living in your entire life.

And when you do? When you give yourself permission to truly pursue your own success, your own path, your own authentic desires?

Something extraordinary happens.

Not only do you soar - you give your twin permission to soar too.

Because when one twin breaks the pattern of success sabotage, the energetic ripple effect is profound. Your twin feels it. They might not understand it consciously at first, but unconsciously, they receive the message:

It's safe to be ourselves. It's safe to want more. It's safe to be different and still be connected.

Ready To Become Your Own Success?

If you've recognized success sabotage in your own life - if you've felt that invisible ceiling, that constant comparing, that holding back - you don't have to stay stuck.

The pattern was created by your subconscious mind. And it can be transformed by your subconscious mind.

Through hypnotherapy, we can:

• Find the root belief keeping you small

• Understand why you formed it (it made sense at the time!)

• Transform it into something empowering

• Give you the freedom to choose success without guilt or fear

You weren't put on this earth to dim your light. To play small. To sacrifice your dreams for the comfort of sameness.

You were put here with your own unique purpose, gifts, and desires. And so was your twin.

Let me show you how to break free from success sabotage - so you can both become the individuals you were always meant to be, while deepening (not destroying) the sacred bond you share.

The twin connection is extraordinary. It's unlike anything most people will ever experience.

But it was never meant to be a cage.

[Book Your Discovery Call] and let's explore what's been holding you back - and how to transform it.

Your success doesn't diminish your twin. It gives them permission to shine too.

Next week, I'll share the rest of my story - and show you what becomes possible when you choose your own path. Spoiler: it's more beautiful than you can imagine.

---

Mini-Exercise: Recognize Your Success Sabotage

Take a few minutes with these questions. Be honest with yourself - no one else needs to see your answers.

1. Have I ever turned down an opportunity because of how it might affect my twin relationship?

2. Do I find myself constantly comparing my achievements, income, or career level to my twin's?

3. When my twin succeeds, do I genuinely celebrate - or do I feel like I need to "catch up"?

4. Have I chosen my career path based on what I authentically want, or based on keeping things "the same" between us?

5. Am I holding myself back from pursuing something because my twin isn't interested in pursuing it too?

If you answered yes to any of these, you're experiencing success sabotage. And you're not alone. But awareness is the first step to transformation.

---

You're capable of so much more than you've allowed yourself to achieve. It's time to find out what happens when you remove the ceiling.

Thank you again for taking the time to read this.